This weekend, Kat, Alex and I did some cocaine, not much, we just had a gramme for the three of us. (though we paid through the nose for it – Pardon the pun) and I have been thinking, I am ready to give it up. I spent the evening in the hostel with Kat and Alex (Alex was working the night shift) as they flurted with one another and kissed during breaks of the people coming and going, checking in etc, I spent the evening twitching, wired, physically exhausted, but mentally alert. And for all the compliments I have given the experience in the past, This time, it just wasn't good. Don't get me wrong, It wasn't a 'bad trip' but It was just at the wrong time. For starters, I should have left Alex and Kat too it. Secondly, I felt more awful the next day, at 5am Kat and I smoked two spliffs followed by a prayer so we could sleep peacefully.
Does Sex Ruin Everything?
Sex can ruin friendships. It can complicate relationships and it can make you see a person in a completely different light. A generous friend is life can be a selfish lover. Strong emotions are in play when people are having sex and one thing I have learnt is that you cannot control your emotions; and when those feelings escalate or don't, it may not be what your partner expects and disappointment is normally followed by break-up. But what if you're not broken up to begin with? What if two friends are casually fucking and one person wants more, and the other just isn't able to reciprocate? It's happened time and time again and when the only thing left to break up the friendship will inevitably suffer. How many 'friends' can you say you've had after a casually sexual relationship with them… and How many of you reading this now are thinking "but that wasn't my fault" – Reality Check Sweetheart. Its always 50% your fault, and 50% theirs and if you are in a group of friends then your selfish sexual needs with break the group apart until there is little left. Sex is EVIL. It ruins friendships, it's uncontrollable and unless it is in a loving committed relationship, with none of this 'casual' bollocks, it is destined to end in heartbreak. Unless of course it's with a prostitute.
Sex is great, it's one of the greatest things you can have for free. Sharing sex with a friend is a wonderful thing because you can be honest with one another, unlike the beginning of a relationship when you feel you have to hold back, only revealing a little more of yourself with each encounter. But with a friend, there are no needs for first or second impressions; a friend will be a friend for life, even if you are able to share these wonderful moments because one thing you can be with a friend is honest! And honesty is one of those wonderful things that are more exclusive with friends than any other social group.
Mature consenting adults can have sex quite easily with no hang ups. It's a pleasurable act. It's nothing like love, because love is emotional, whereas raw sex is just lustful. Who should be deprived of that Animal urge to take a man or woman in your arms as your sweaty bodies rub up against one another? Experimenting with sex is something even some couples are nervous about, but a true sexual friend will take it all in stride, and support you, so when you do enter into the relationship you have always dreamed of, your sexual skills will be at a stage where you can satisfy your partner on a level matching your emotional feelings for them. And it's all thanks to that special friend.
The truth is I don't know if sex ruins everything, two of my friends have entered into a casual thing and I'm quite intrigued to see how it pans out. They both don't have those feelings for one another, but this will only become clear in time. I'd like to call this
The Anthony Maxwell Experiment
Can meaningless Sex really be meaningless?
Watch this space!